Thank God For Storms.
By Marie G

Though when I was young I'd been taught to love Jesus I became a problem child, then a troubled teen and finally I was a divorced mother with lots of issues and no hope. Years went by that I did not attend church and prayer was very rare. I was full of pride and thankless.  I did not praise or glorify God at all.

During my divorce I had to move into my mother's house. It was a very trying time for us all. 

There was a wild plum tree in my mother's back yard. It was a small tree with a lot of diseased branches on it and it bore no fruit. One evening as I was watching a rain storm through a back window I was suddenly moved to thank God for the rain that was watering that sickly tree and for the wind that would strengthen it. Before then I can't really remember thanking God for anything. I was still giving my meager thanks when the sky turned black as night, the wind become so loud it was frightening and my little tree fell. OUCH. I felt wounded. The next day the tree was cut up, the stump removed and only the roots remained.

That was about 14 years ago. My life for quite a while spiraled steadily down. I become sick in spirit and in body. I lived a life of indulgence and sin. I faced numerous squalls and subjected myself to many elements. I was beset on all sides by my storms till finally I could no longer stand. Like my sick and fruitless plum tree I fell.

Praise God for my storms! From where I lay I had no where to look but up and what I saw there was the Lord Jesus Whose love I had forgotten even though as a child I had been rooted in Him. I beheld a Savior who forgave me all of my sins, lifted me, filled me with His Holy Spirit and fed me His Word. The holy LORD has healed me of my many sicknesses and delivered me from much. Through our Father's grace I grow and flourish. 

Fourteen years have passed since the evening when I thanked God for the wind and rain that knocked down my sickly little tree. I now own that house where the tree was apparently destroyed. However, now when I look out my window I see a very large healthy wild plum bush that had grown up from the roots that were left intact. The winter wind against the house is softened by this massive shrub. In the spring I have lovely flowers and scents and shade all summer long. Birds sing and nest in the branches. God knew as I thanked Him for the wind and rain that evening where I'd be today and was even then planning my future temporal home.

Much better though is the place Jesus is preparing in His Father's house for all who love and accept Him as Lord and Savior.
Thank God for storms.
" Praise the LORD from the earth ... lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do His bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children."  (Psalm 148)
June 20, 2003
PS When I look closely I see that some pruning needs done. (John 15)

Marie G 
Heart to Hearts 
A Moment with God
These testimonies are a reminder of what God Can do in peoples lives. God wants us to be whole and healed... 3 John 2 say, Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and Be In Health, even as thy soul Prospereth.  

The Lord has told us... "Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24. Whatever we ask for He will give it to us... that includes healing of body, mind and soul. It's all covered under the blood of Christ. 

Mark 5:28 For she said, if I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.... He said unto her, daughter, thy FAITH has made you whole. Our faith and believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ can and does bring healing to us. For by his stripes we are healed! 1 Pet 2:24 God is a loving God who heals our afflictions, no matter what the world things, God is still in control and is still healing people today. Trust God, believe in Him and He will bring healing into your life.


Send in by Daisy:

If any of what I write below will help one other person, I am happy to share.  There has been more than once that my Lord has answered prayer and there are a couple of them that no one involved could deny that God had caused a miracle. 
First, let me start with my "little miracles". 
One morning before going to work (accounting for small co. and working part time) I prayed for a healing in my jaw/ear/gland in throat. Didn't know if toothache, earache or sinus infection in gland. Went to work, by the end of the day, no pain, healed after a week of getting worse steadily. Realized that God HAD heard my prayer and healed me (to show me He was there and listening, I suspected) I became a firm believer then and got serious about reading my bible.
Next:   When New Year's Eve came around about 6-7 yrs ago, I prayed to my Lord to help me to quit smoking. I made that my resolution and knew if I asked Him to help me, I'd better keep up my end. He did!!! He put me in bed after Christmas for a wk when I couldn't eat anything or drink anything but water. Not a cigarette since. Easy for me cause He did it.
But, before I learned to have faith that He would do what He said He would, my mother, who had more than 2 angioplasty heart operations, (brother had 2 bypass surgeries) had been told that her doctors had done all they could do for her heart problems because of her age (84).  She was advised to take a nitro tablet as soon as she felt a bad spell coming on and not when it had gotten so bad that she was forced to do so,   If that one didn't bring relief fast, she was to take another.  She had been prayed for in her church prior to this time when an evangelist was visiting one weekend.  After the evangelist called any to the altar, she went down and was prayed for.  After going about her normal activities for a week, she realized that she had not had to take a nitro.  This was out of the ordinary in her life.  She has not had to take another one since.  Her doctor proclaimed her heart healed of all her problems.  Glory to our God.'s the kicker:
My stepson of age 41 had been on drugs for many yrs.  He had almost destroyed his health.  Was on the methadone program and trying to function normally.  While his father and I were in the north for several months about 2 yrs ago, we received word that he had been found unconscious at his home on the floor by a friend and taken to the nearest hospital in an ambulance.  We found him comatose in ICU and on a breathing machine.  He seemed to get better and could respond somewhat, but for almost 4 months he was in ICU when his main doctor called for a family conference.  We had all decided that if he was not "brain dead" that they were to try all possible to get him well.  The doctor advised us at that time that he could not live more than 5-6 minutes off the breathing machine.  We got online, in church and on phone asking all to pray for Kenny's healing.
This still thrills me!  My heart beats with joy and praise for our Lord even now.  Hear this:
Kenny walked out of that hospital 2 weeks later!!  All who knew of Kenny in the hospital and their ICU waiting room called him "THE MIRACLE BOY".
OK, That is not the end of this story.  Kenny was on oxygen but his sister would pick him up and drive him to church every time they opened their doors.  Kenny knew that our Father had given him another chance and Kenny loved Him and praised Him for this.  Kenny became an inspiration to many others there in that church in Memphis, TN when they saw him straining with that oxygen tank and beads of sweat rolling off his forehead but with a smile of love on his face and happiness in his eyes.
This past January, we were heading  back home after the New Year holiday with son in Indiana and we got a phone call that Kenny was found dead that morning in his bed.  For a few minutes our hearts felt pain, but then we realized that our Father God had given OUR MIRACLE BOY a year to get his life together and that he had been completely forgiven and used for good and that he was up there with our Lord Jesus running in fields of flowers without a care or pain and he had not been able to do that for quite some time.  Hallelujah.!
I realize that our time is not God's time and that...Isa 55:.. "For my thoughts (are) not your thoughts, neither (are) your ways my ways"... so when I pray, I try to remember to ask for His will above all things remembering He will answer me in His time and also remembering:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Romans 8:... He will make everything come out for our good...always.
Walk in love
His and mine
Testimonies From
My Testimony of Jesus Christ
By Phillip Miles

Beginning April 19, 1951 I was born in Atlanta. And even before my birth Jesus had me in mind. Prior to my birth to a great family of God my Father Rev. John A. Miles and my mom Opal Mae Miles were in some meetings with Dr. Oral Roberts. My mom came forward for prayer for me. And Dr. Roberts began to lay his hands on my mother's stomach and began to prophesy over me and said God has called me to be a Prophet of many nations. He said I would fulfill God's calling on my life. This has always had a great impact on my life. And I thank God for an obedient servant as Oral Roberts was and is today, 

What Satan Intended For Evil!
Being a pastor's son I grew up to age thirteen with many experiences of the Lord Jesus. Then just as the good times were so wonderful, suddenly Satan came immediately to bring total destruction to my life and prevent the Lords calling on my on my life. At age thirteen I was raped and molested by a minister. Afterwards having been destroyed in my self esteem, I began to experiment with drugs and alcohol and became an addict for many years and became a male prostitute. Even at the ripe age of thirty seven. I sought for companionship through four failed marriages. I had no idea what was wrong with my life. All I knew was I hated life and tried to commit suicide many times and had been treated for depression in over twenty mental hospitals. Still I had no clue what was wrong with me. I thought since I was a pastors son I couldn't figure out what had happened to me and why God had left me or so I thought. So I became worse and worse a man lost and without hope. For all hope had been lost. For I thought God had forsaken me. 

Jesus Christ Turned It Around For Good!
Praise be to God who causes us always to triumph in Christ Jesus! In 1988 God made good his promise. I had suddenly developed a hunger for my Savoir Jesus Christ. As I was in a revival service at Christ Fellowship in Atlanta, I heard Evangelist Mike Williams give his testimony on The Repairer of the Breach and the Restorer of Paths to Dwell In and as Mike gave his personal testimony I was delivered from unclean spirits and curses of my life that had plagued me all my life. Tons of guilt and shame were removed. My relationship with Jesus Christ was fully restored and I became the man of God He had called me to be. My hunger increased, my shame was gone, my ashes became beauty for God had restored my life. Since then I have prepared for the ministry and now operate in the Fivefold Ministry of Jesus Christ. I have given my testimony and preached His holy word to many nations. I know how God can change the most foul existence that had no purpose and recreate a life that gives Him praise. I enjoy touring the U.S. and preaching His Holy Word. So in closing I ask you to consider that God is no respecter of persons and what HE DID FOR ME, HE WILL DO FOR YOU....... So invite Him in your life and Taste and SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!God bless you all for allowing me to share this testimony and continue to pray open doors so I can bring His glory and majesty to a lost and dying world, And to comfort all who mourn in Zion. Feel free to email or IM me any time. My life is only for you my brothers and sisters. God bless you all in Jesus Christ's name.........Please send this testimony to others who are hurting. In His Presence......Through His Love......... by His Precious Holy Spirit, Apostle Oral Phillip Miles P.S. Got any rivers that seem so uncross able? Got any mountains you cannot tunnel thru? God specializes in things called impossible and he will do what no other power can do!!!Let Jesus fix it for you for He knows just what to do. Whenever you pray let Him have his way and He will fix it for you!!! 

Pastor Boyd:

I minister to people who need the savior and pray for many who have physical needs; but don't have any outstanding testimonies..
I would suggest that you offer to pray for those in Rest Homes etc...NOT that your a healing evangelist; but children of God can pray for one another. Just say to the patient would you like for me to pray for you?
Our world is filled with people who need the healing touch of the great physician, Jesus of Nazareth.  It is difficult to understand why many good believing Christians are not healed. We don't have an adequate answer. You can be sure God has a reason for all situations.  Romans 8:28 says, "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."  We are to pray in faith believing and leave the results with God. 
We undoubtedly bring some adversities and problems on ourselves in not using good judgment or by bad decisions. Jesus said, " we learn obedience by the things which we suffer" (Hebrews 5:8).  For a solution and answer to our physical needs look at James 5:13-16; Isaiah 53:5; Mark 11:24; and 1 John 5:14,15. According to James 1:6,7 we are to pray with unwavering faith .. no doubting the results.  Dare to believe God's Word. Let God stretch your faith.
 Keep your thoughts on the positive rather than the negative.  God says put not your confidence in man, but in God. "Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward" (Hebrews 10;35). "...In quietness and confidence shall be your strength" (Isaiah 30:15). "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble, Therefore we will not fear" (Isaiah 46:2). "Be still and know that I am God" (Isaiah 46:10). "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes , I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous hand.  For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, Fear not, I will help you" (Isaiah 41:10,13).
When you prayed to receive Jesus Christ as your savior, you prayed a very simple prayer and never doubted but what God would answer promptly. That was a positive prayer, you expected an immediate answer and you did.  Unwavering faith on the authority of God's Word is how we must pray. Exercise that same positive attitude. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Heb 13:8).  His power has not diminished. God says, "What I have written I will bring to pass" (Isaiah 43:2). 
God still heals today, refuse to believe otherwise.   Follow the above scriptures and refuse to live in defeat.  "Things impossible with man are possible with God" (Matt19;26).
May God grant the cry of your heart even today   

Pastor Boyd
"A life lived for Christ, is the best inheritance we can leave our children"

Francis Hope:

Keren: At age 81, was lying in Hospital in Redding California, with double Pneumonia.  Pastor came to pray for me, heard death rattle in my lungs, later told my wife He didn't think I'd make it through the night. About two A.M. I threw my hands up and committed my life to my Lord, whom I'd served for most of my life, promising Him if He would Heal me, I would do anything or go anywhere He directed me to.  Doctor said I had a mass on one lung that was not affected by any antibiotic known to man, but God removed the mass within ten days and made me completely whole. I'm 83 and my Poetry is on the Web by God's Grace. 

Francis Hope
Susan, Send in by MerryMerry:


PTL! God is GOOD! I think it is awesome that Dusty is still doing so well!!!!! TY for sharing this story & praise. 
This is a story I can PERSONALLY relate to... because when I was young I had a tumor on my tongue (on the side of my tongue) that by the time I was 12 years old was about 1/2 the size as my tongue was itself... and it made it nearly impossible for me to eat or speak properly. Well... I could eat but it was very painful, because the tumor was so large... there was no way for me to chew w/o biting it or my tongue... and when I would cry, my dad would cuss me and say for me to go to my room until I could eat w/o acting like a "baby."  I do not remember how old I was when this thing first appeared in my mouth (I am sure it started off smaller) but since my dad was totally opposed to Dr.s unless HE felt seeing them was NECESSARY (his beer and hard booze was admittedly a priority over paying "Good money for QUACKS")  it was something that never seemed to concern anyone but me.... and my speech therapist that the school provided for me (my speech therapy was at school) and maybe my mom was concerned too but she never let it show (probably out of respect to my dad?) When I was 12 years old I wore a size 6x and looked like one of the children from a concentration camp, barely skin clinging to bone. By this time my 16 yr old brother was in that last stages of cancer himself (his last tumor they TRIED to remove was in his lung and the size of a football.)  :'(  Robert was also forced to wait on medical care until it was "OBVIOUS" to my dad it was NEEDED... sadly, it was a little too late for Robert. When I was finally admitted to the hospital to have this THING removed (Wyler's Children's Hospital in Chicago) my brother was in a room about 3 doors down from my room and I could see when the nurses had to go running in to help him and such... I am not sure he even knew I was also there in the hospital but, I KNEW that God was with BOTH OF US (no matter what our dad said.) Just before I was heading to the operating room my dad walked in to talk to me. I THINK, maybe... at the time... he THOUGHT it would be a "funny joke"  but he asked me if I thought my God was going to help me??? Then he said they were going to cut off my tongue and I was going to starve to death... sooooo... IF I was going to pray, I better pray to die sooner then later. (Yes, this was and IS the kind of thing my dad always says.) 
I did not even realize then how HURT I was... I just knew I was scared. After he left my room to go to Robert's room, I climbed up on the heat register thinggie and tried to find a way to jump out of the window to my hospital room (I had been admitted the night before my scheduled surgery) but a nurse walked in and stopped me. I don't think I really even thought about what I was doing. When the nurse got me into my bed and threatened she would have to strap me down if I get back up... I told her what my dad just did and she hugged me soooooo tight, and she told me I was going to be "just fine!"  Outside of church, I had NEVER been hugged like that before in my life... and even at church, I don't think I had ever been hugged so tight. Well the surgery went ok I guess... of course no one really talked to me about it, so I just guessed. I did have to have radiation (just once) but I did not die!!!! I did also have to "relearn" how to eat and talk. I could not even figure out how I was supposed to hold my tongue, with my mouth closed, because that tumor had taken up so much space for so long.... so speaking and eating was a true challenge for me. Anyway... by the time I was 14 or so.... I was not only talking up a storm!  I was singing! YES...... I was singing.... in Church. Sometimes solo's... but mostly with a friend or 2 and ALWAYS when they had praise and worship time (I don't think they called it that back then, but IT WAS!) Only away from home of course.... was when I would talk much or sing... cuz at home it was best to stay silent. *One "family joke" I NEVER had to hear again was... "Hey Susan, didn't anyone ever tell you... You are not supposed to talk with your mouth full."  Sheese! 
I still did have a "Mouth-full" ...... only it was no longer tumor.... it was music, and way back then... LOL... I actually could sing very well.... THAT WAS GOD!!  
I still have many tumors (literally 100's) all over my body (inside and out) due to having Neurofibromatosis.... (even behind my eyes).... but, for the most part I would say like 90% of them are not bothersome and are nothing but "ugly reminders" of something the medical professionals say "there is no cure for."  The other 10%... well, Pain is an understatement at times.... Showers are PAINFUL (the water, even on LOW pressure) feels like thousands of needles hitting me all at once. Some clothing is painful.... Like anything that touches my lower back, right at the belt-line (That tumor there is not huge on the outside... but on the inside it goes in and around nerves and my spine ane the only way to remove it would paralyze me.) When I went a few months ago for an MRI... we THOUGHT the tumor had grown, due to the increase in pain... but GOOD NEWS is NO... it did not grow.... bad news is, I now have arthritis eating at areas around the tumor. In time, it still COULD paralyze me... and I do already have a walker that I should use to help me balance and keep SOME pressure off that part of my spine since getting around is difficult for me... But, I have refused to give the devil the satisfaction. I see my walker as a bigger challenge anyway, since I can't carry anything (like my purse, or whatever) if I am juggling w/ that thing! HA! 
These health "challenges" that my daughter and I face (she also has numerous tumors and many other health issues) are a daily thing... but, THANK GOD for the good days! (Few & far between but ALWAYS from GOD.)  I truly believe that once God helps us to move from Indiana.... there will be huge changes (for the better) in our health! I really do not know just why, but I just KNOW!
Right now I feel like a ping pong ball in my moods..... The other day I had a FANTASTIC "UP" day....... Yesterday was a very badddddd day (emotionally & otherwise) and today....... well, I am alive... so maybe that means something? 
Uggggggggggg, Anyway... I did not mean to yack so long.... I just wanted to say TY JESUS for Dusty's continued recovery and being cancer free.... and also to say that this was one story I could really relate to in some ways. 
Love in CHRIST... Be Blessed,
When Satan comes knocking at your door just simply say: 
"Jesus, will you get that for me please? "
Romans 10

9)  If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 
10)  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved

3rd of a 4 part series


People often say, "I'm a nice guy, I pay my taxes, I've never robbed anyone, never shot or stabbed anyone.  OK so maybe I've told a fib or two, or maybe even more than a few.  But it's ok; I'm better than everyone else on my block is.  God has already forgiven me, why worship or talk bout Christ or go to church?"

This is also one of the traps that people are caught in.  Pride gets in their way.  All of us have sinned.  All of us have fallen short of the glory of God.

Today, I wanna tell you a story of an arrogant man who used to feel that same way.  

In 1997 this guy I used to know was running for the VA State Legislature.  He had no idea what God meant.  He had promised himself that he would NEVER go to church.  In fact, this guy was so arrogant that he thought that he was a better Christian than others were because he never went to church.

Well during this run for the Legislature, he had to go to church to meet voters.  Voters go to church right?  What better place to meet them!

Well one day, our arrogant friend was set to go to take a tour of the state prison, and in this tour, he was gonna witness an execution.  Our friend thought this would be great politics, go watch a guy get executed.

Carlton Pope was an angry kid, one who grew up without much money.  Most of what he had he stole.  He had served time for robbery and arson.  In 1990, he broke into an old widow's house, robbed her, and shot her to death.  Sentenced to death in 1991. 

Well our friend thought on it, and thought "Hey, I'm a nice guy, lets pray for this poor slob.  After all, I'm a swell guy; it's the least that I can do right?  After all, I'm an upstanding citizen, this guy is a maggot".

Well the time came for the execution.  The witnesses were escorted into the prison gates, and were given a description of what would happen.  Our friend asked if any of these bums (his exact words) had ever shown repentance or any last words on the gurney.  

The prison spokesman replied that never in the recorded history of the Virginia death penalty had there ever been any last words; the condemned usually just wanted to get out of this world.  

When Carlton Grey Pope was walked in, there was no fear in his eyes.  He hopped onto the gurney like he'd hop onto a doctor's bed.  When asked if he had any last words, Carlton Grey Pope said:

"I'm sorry for what I've done, I love my Mother, Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins."

With that, Pope served his sentence for capital murder.  

Our friend was so busy tabulating votes in his mind that he forgot all about Carlton Pope for several months.  Several months later, our friend finally understood what he saw: That while he was not a criminal, he was a sinner.  And that here this murder, this arsonist, this thief, would go to Heaven before he did, because when the money was on, Carl Pope confessed with his mouth and believed in his heart that Jesus was Lord, and did what he could teach a wayward soul about Christianity.

Carl Pope did 2 things that our friend had not learned.  One was that you must know that Jesus died personally for you.  Second, Carlton Pope understood what next week's lesson will be, from the Book of James, Faith and Works.

And what of our arrogant friend, who thought he was so smart?  

He ended up being reborn on March 28, 1998.  He now runs a private prayer group for the condemned in Virginia.  There are now 21 saved souls from Virginia's death row.   He learned the value of prayer.  Most of you know him; his name is S John Massoud.aka 

My name is Jean and I am 45 years old.  As a child, I went to the Salvation Army. They had a van and would come and pick us up.  Most of the neighborhood children went.  The Salvation Army had activities for children.  I was in the Girl Guards, timbral group and painting class.  My parents never went, but mother did let me go.  I can only remember one time that my dad and mother went to Church.
I got pregnant at 16..........and got married.  It was the worse 12-13 years of my life.  He was a dope dealer and got busted while my daughter was a baby.  He did not stop though.  He also let friends come in the house and run up drugs.  There was blood all over my kitchen walls.   There were parties every night practically.
I did not take my child to Church.  I had started drinking, I guess to try to keep up with him.  I never did like to smoke pot because it made me paranoid. I left him leagually, 3 different times.  Finally on the 3rd , we got a divorce.   
I became a full blown alcoholic.  I drank by myself, and with friends.  I felt I had to have it to be able to function around people. I got 2 DUI's and spent time in jail for that.
 As for my daughter, just so my ex would leave me alone, I agreed to have joint custody.  Boy was that a stupid mistake.  She wound up wanting to stay with him more than with me.  She got into doing drugs.  She quit school and got married.  I  was married Matt. (2nd marriage).  I was still drinking heavy.  He drank also.  I don't think he would have drank so much if it wasn't for me.  I can remember riding the bicycle to the store to get beer, when I had no other way.  
I finally got a bleeding ulcer and about died.  I had to have surgery and blood transfusions.  I quit drinking.  That must have been Gods way of getting through to me!
I have always had low back pain but it escalated to, 3 buldging disk,, sciatica, Osterporsis & Degenerative disk disease at 45 years of age  I was in pain all the time while I was being treated.   The doctors kept upping me med's until I was on 15 different ones.  Two of them were Opiates (Roxycodone and Kadian)  
One day not long ago,  I was sick all day and could not keep medicine down.  I had dirraha, dry-heaves.  Back and forth to the bathroom. This went on all day.  Finally Matt   called 911 at 9:30pm.   All I wanted was help.  Otherwise, my mind was blank.  I had no cares.
At the hospital, they gave me morphine.  I could not eat nor drink much water.  After a few hours they let me go home.  I suppose the reason they sent me home so fast was because of all the drug addicts they have that come in.  They told Matt to give me a Kadian when we got home.  I went to sleep and he did not know what a kadian looked like .  With all the med's I have, (it looks like a Pharmacy here), he had no clue of what was what. I was so weak and sick that he could not ask me.   So he called the Pain Center.   He waited 10 hours before they called him back.  
Matt had not had no sleep and had to keep an eye on me those 10 hours.  I kept walking the floor trying to find a place I could lay down comfortable.  (couches, floor)  I would lay down 10 seconds, get up and go somewhere else.  I was incoherent and did not know who Matt was. I was trying to drink hand lotion, Instant coffee out of the jar, Heet that has a sponge to rub
 on painful areas of your body, and it was hot.  I did not know what I was doing.  Matt was afraid I would drink something poison.
  Matt asked my mother to watch me for a few minutes.  He needed a break.  He hardly had time for a cigarette, since we don't smoke in the house.  She said she could not keep up with me.  Matt was having a stressful time trying to keep up with me.  He went without sleep for 2 days & 2 nights.  Nor did he eat.  The dogs were even sick.  Both were throwing up. They knew something was wrong.  After he finally got a Kadian in me that afternoon, I was fine. 
 Just a few days later, I thought I was well,  but boy was I wrong.  I could only remember one thing at a time.    No one could talk to me.  If I got my mind off of what I needed, I would not remember it.    I had to write down each thing I wanted and hold it or wear it to my clothes with hair clips.  Its like my mind was empty, maybe like a child.
Somewhere during this time, Matt called the pain center and they saw me.  I wanted to take Bengi  my puppy and Matt did not want me to.  So I took a laundry basket with all his toys in it.  Anything that reminded me of my dog.  That seemed to satisfy me.  The Doctor at  the Pain Center put me on patches that would last up to 72 hours for pain.  It was equal to an Opiate.
I did not sleep at night nor day. I spent the night trying to get in touch with ones at the hospital that took care  of me.   I had matt get up cause I had called Ambulance and police. I was wanting answers to some questions and no one would help me on the phone.  The one Paramedic that took me to the hospital  came and talked to me and I calmed down.  He is an ex addict.  I think  I was having a nervous break down/ or a reaction to the drugs, part of both.
After all this, Matt and I got into an agreement because he would not give me my car keys.  I fractured my finger in his T-shirt, fighting with him.  I called 911 again.  Same ambulance paramedics came again.  I was mad at matt and did not want to see him.  I rode sitting in the back of the ambulance talking to the Paramedic who is an ex addict.  He is the best counselor I have met.  He came every time I called.
Somewhere around this time, I was like having a nervous breakdown.  Walking fast down the street, sitting on the side of the road in the grass, not caring!  I started jerking things out of my brothers truck,  broke the antenna.  I went into the house and got 2 or 3 big knives and started cutting cords and wires inside his truck.  
Again  Matt took me to the hospital because he was afraid I would hurt myself or others.  He said to see a doctor and it would not take long.  He did not tell me that I would be staying overnight!  (That is how bad off I was)  I had a blanket around me and and a toy monkey.   Finally I was Baker Acted and sent to New Horizens.
I was given a room with a bed in it.  I got upset when I found out I was staying.  They keep telling me to be quite.  I screamed my lungs out.  They put me in Solitary confinement.  I still screamed.  They gave me a shot.  I could look out one window and see a computer with 4 pictures on it.  They were watching me.  Each time a nurse came by, he was using his finger to hush me.  I finally put the mattress on the bed in front of the window.  I stood at door and screamed my lungs out and finally slid down the door and went to sleep (not long though) .
When I finally got out of "Solitary" it was still hush hush.  I had no hand book to know the rules!  
I did not think I would be there long.
I waited on a doctor.  I did not want to miss him.  I would not go eat.  In the morning they had me up at 4:00am.  They did not give me Kadian or Roxycodone while I was there.
I waited up late after bedtime for the doctor.  They woke me up at 4:00am because  I wanted to see the Dr. Did I see the Dr.?  No not until later!!   I finally learned to take my med's, but still would not go eat.  I did not want to miss seeing the doctor.
 I was worn out waiting.
God was with me all during this time.  I am glad that everything happened the way it did.  I have no regrets.
I had all the patients knowing that I was a walking miracle..  God answered questions I had before I went there.  I did not read His Word either while there.  But I know now that God is Jesus.  I can almost tell you about the mark of the beast.!  Every thing that happened at New horizons was meant by God.  On TV I heard to read Peter and John first.  God was working miracles left and right \o/  I was dancing and singing songs about  Benji my dog.  Sonny (someone who worked there) had let me hang on to a stress ball, I used it because I squoze a banana when I got mad from waiting on a Dr.  I had ones believing in God! One girl got her Bible out.  Others ready to go to Church.  I got that stress ball and went around the desk at the nurses station singing and bouncing the stress ball.  I found out that if something was put off that I wanted, it was Gods doing for my good.
I found names of books to read.  One by Joyce Meyer.  God was with me or I would not have made it.  Thumbs up, I was happy!  It made a lot of the others happy.  
As for me, I am looking to the next minute, not day.  Everything from the last minute is "shoved under the rug"  No use worrying about anything that happened it is past tense.  All of that happened around the first of June.  Now Matt and I have joined a Church and been baptized.  We are active in the Church, and that is what was missing in my life.  I thought I could not sit in Church 1 hour, without a lot of pain.  I knew that a person can be saved and not go to Church, (even though it hinders Spiritual growth).  I was doing work on the computer, but that was not enough!  God wanted me in Church.  I praise God today for what all happened to me.  It all has helped me grow stronger in Him.  I
I thank Jesus for suffering and dyeing for me.  He paid the price in full for my sins.  He arose from the dead, He is with me.  \o/  He died for you too.  I hope this testimony touches each one who reads it.  And if you have not accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, that you will come to know Him before His return.  God knows each of us, even the number of hairs on your head.  Matt. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. 
Confess Christ Before Men
(Luke 12:8, 9)
Matt. 32 "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. 33 But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.
May God bless you,  Jean 
My Deliverance

By StepOnCat

At a young age I learned what it was to hate one's self. And at a young age I feared the monster I might become. So I hated myself even more. You see someone that was living with my grandmother had sexually abused me and I blamed myself for it. I also at that time believed that ,"If you can't trust family , then who can you trust. Then at the age of 13 I learned that those who were abused tend to abuse others. This made me fear life cause I didn't want to grow up and hurt others the way I was. Thus I believed within my heart that no one could ever truly love me if they knew the monster that was inside of me. And thus I could never love anyone cause of what I may become... Well, they were wrong and I didn't grow up that way, but it took me many, many years to realize that.

I graduated from a Christian School and even accepted Jesus into my heart but without really giving my heart to God. Then on June 28th of 1987 I attempted to kill myself. But God was watching over me and would not allow me to succeed. Shortly after that I completely stopped going to church. In the summer of 1991 I moved out of my parent's home and rented an apartment. I also started a job at the mill which I hated with a passion. And I took up drinking. Every night when I got home from work I would get drunk and sit there and pet my cat till I finally passed out. I did this for three months, till when at work I had a seizure. Shortly after that I quit my job that was stressing me out and I quit drinking because I didn't want to live that kind of a life style. But I was still running from God

Then in February of 1997 I met this girl that completely swept me off my feet. Yes, I was infatuated. This was the first time I ever allowed someone to love me and I was on cloud 9 for several months. We were even engaged. But this was not meant to be and the relationship slowly deteriorated and all I could do was sit there and watch. While my relationship was going down hill I met a wonderful person online, in a suicide chat room. We immediately became friends. And When my relationship was clearly over, I was contemplating suicide. Well, my friend ( Marion ) from England Called my sister who dialed 911 and I was placed in the hospital, in the Mental Health Unit or otherwise known as MHU. Well, they put me on three different med's that made me hear voices within my head louder than I have ever heard before,, 

These voices would yell and scream and actually sound as if I was hearing them through my ears. Well, after a couple months of that they switched the med's they were giving me and labeled me as a schizophrenic. Thus placing me within the system with no apparent way out; I could not accept this and so I would cut myself to see the pain I that I would not allow myself to feel. On several times more I ended up in the hospital in MHU for suicidal thoughts. This went on for a couple years being in and out of the hospital. Then in the summer of 2003 I wanted to study the Bible, so I ordered a course on Soul Winning from ACE (Accelerated Christian Education)... 

As I was studying the Soul Winning Course and typing it up for my friend to read on her computer, I prayed the sinners' prayer once again. This time truly meaning it within my heart; for I was determined to give God my heart. Even though I have to see a therapist and psychiatrist on a regular basis, my life started turning around. Things got better in my life. The doctors switched medicines that I was on and the voices quieted within my head. Though from time to time I hear them talking ever so softly; but you know "That which cannot be cured, can be endured." And God has blessed me ever so much. He placed a friend within my heart who I love dearly and have written many poems about. God had also placed new Christian friends in my life that I talk to online. No more do I cut myself or think about suicide as being the only answer there is. For God has chased away everything that brought me down and replaced it with Love. Whenever Satan tries to attack me, I just sit down and write a poem. God has gifted me with the ability to write poems as a way to combat the devil's darts. So here I am now, alive because of God and saved because God loved me that much that He protected me for myself

The Testimony of John Beauford

By John Beauford

I must write this testimony to let others know the power of Jesus Christ. My name is John. At one time many spirits bound me. Some were alcohol, drugs, violence and more. I lost two families, self respect, money and almost my life. People, I was in and out of jail for the past six years. I had no friends. People I associated with just used me for things I had.  When it was gone they were gone. I had been to about 13 rehabs to try to stop drinking and using drugs. I would stop for a week or a month and start back again. I was in jail so much until I didn't care about jail any more. The time in jail helped me stay clean of drugs and alcohol, I was able to rest and get my health back. The time in jail was spent sleeping and avoiding the minister that came to the jail. I did not want to hear about God or the Lord Jesus. The spirit in me did not want to hear about Jesus, I would get out of jail as usual and start back drinking and using drugs. My life was miserable. I knew, I needed help and couldn't find it. My life was getting worse. I started carrying a gun and looking to use it. I had nothing to look forward to. I had no home, no wife. My kids did not want to be around me. I didn't want to be around myself. I thought about suicide many times but could not pull the trigger.
"I had nothing to look forward to.   I hand no home, no wife. My kids did not want to be around me. I didn't want to be around myself. I though about suicide many times
One night I got high on crack and vodka. This dude made me mad so I was going to unload on him {shoot him with all six bullets.} Someone told him I was looking for him and I was going to kill him {Now I remember what he did, he broke a window in my truck. I loved my truck more than my freedom}.so he went to the police. The police were looking for me and I was looking for him. God allowed the police to find me before I found him. I found myself back in jail. This time I was looking at two to five years in the state pen for carrying a concealed weapon. I lost everything else, so why not my freedom for two to five years.

I was sitting in Beaver County Jail with no way to look but up. I was sick of my life, sick of life itself. I planned that night after the guards made their rounds to commit suicide. Everything was prepared. The only thing I had to do was wait until midnight. But that was not God's plan. That evening at about 7pm, a minister from Wildwood Chapel came to the jail. I was sitting on the bench. {For, some reason I did not go in to my cell as I did before when they came}. Brother John was talking with another prisoner about Jesus and his love. I was sitting there listening, not showing I was listening, but I was hanging on every word that came out of brother's John's mouth. At the end, Brother John asked the prisoner to pray with him. As they were praying so was I. At that time and moment, I asked the Lord to come into my life. I asked him to rule over my life. At that moment, It was no longer John Beauford's life But Jesus life. John Beauford "did die" that night, but not by suicide as I had planned.
"John Beauford "did die' that night, but not by suicide as I planned".

The old John died and a new John was born in Christ. There was joy and peace that I felt. I did not care about prison. I just wanted to keep the peace and joy that I felt. When I cried out to the Lord, He heard me and the pain was gone for the first time in many years. I was free I knew I was free. There is power in the blood of Jesus. When I stopped praying, I was different. Brother John asked the prisoner next to me if he wanted a Bible. He said no, so I took it. Brother John asked the prisoner if he wanted material to read. Again, the prisoner said no, so I took it. At that point, brother, John looked at me with a strange look for what seemed like an hour, but it was only for a few seconds. Then he smiled at me and left. I went to my cell and opened the Bible to the book of Luke. I read that Jesus promised us many things if only we would believe and I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. That He was crucified on the cross and died and rose on the third day and sits on the right hand of the Father with all authority and power. The other prisoner's thought I lost my mind.  Read the Bible and praying all day.  I was changed and everyone could see it. The prisoners and guards saw I had at joy and a peace.  I did not ask the Lord to help me with my court case. I was willing to accept any punishment that the court gave me. I could do the time with Jesus on my side. For the first time in a long while, I felt good about myself. Even though I was in jail, I was on top of the world. Court time came. Before going, I prayed. Not for help, but that the Lord would go before me and that His will be done.  I know to this day that the Lord went before, me and informed the judge, because with my record I got 4 years probation for carrying a concealed weapon. I was no longer a prisoner of the county.  But, I was a prisoner of the Lord. The Lord brought me to jail to teach me. It is not easy to be saved behind bars. But with the Lord's help, I made it. I had to only serve 5 months for violation of my probation. The Lord was not finished with me. I began to read the Bible from cover to cover. Then it happened as I was reading the book of Ezekiel 36: 26-27 that the Holy Spirit spoke to me. At first, I did not understand what I was reading. Then a voice in my mind said, "I'm talking to you, to you John". And.  A new heart also will, I give you. And a new, spirits will I out within you and I will take away the stony heart out of flesh. And I will give you a heart of flesh, And I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them, The Lord knows where each one of us is and what we need. I needed a new heart and spirit and today I have it with the power of the Lord.
For the next 5 months, I read the Bible and prayed about all things. I am out of jail today. I go to church and try to keep the commandments of God. I am still saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. The joy I had in jail, I still have. I have not used drugs or alcohol. I don't hang around the old crowd go to the bars or dope house. I have new friends in Christ the Lord Jesus has worked miracles in my life and He will do the same for you if only you ask. I am praying for you.

Your brother in Christ, John Beauford.

PS: You have tried everything else, NOW TRY JESUSI T has been some years since I wrote the above. Part two. This is an up date. The first question every one want to know is has John gone back to drinking and drugs. The answer is yes. I started hanging with the old crowd, thinking that I could help them. In the meanwhile I was setting my self up for a relapse.
 The devil was waiting on me. I was not strong enough to resist him. I was still going to church lying to my self and the people around me. Some knew that I was using again but they did not say as word. I was not lying to God, for God knows,
 The heart of each of us. (In first Samuel 12- 20 it says and Samuel said unto the people. Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart: And turn ye not aside: for then should ye go after vain things, which can not profit nor deliver; for they are vain. For the Lord will not forsake his people for his great namesake. Because it hath pleased the lord to make you this people.)    That is what I hung on to for about eight months. I never stopped praying and calling out to God. I did not know it, but God had to break me again in order to deal with me. Try to understand this; unless we surrender to the Lord he can not do his work in us. I still thought I knew it all, had all the answers. And the Lord had to show me I did not know a thing. I was so full of pride and self worth that I was beside myself. This is also sin but after awhile I confessed these and other sins to God and he forgave me.
 I was told in a dream to leave my hometown. So one morning I packed a case and found a ride to the .A. Hospital. In PGH. PA there I checked in the hospital. I tried to get in the drug and alcohol program. But was told that I have been there to many times, which I have. I did not need the program; Jesus Christ had a better program for me. So I was put on the mental ward during this time I was told that I did not have mental problems and that I could only stay for 30 days. So the VA was helping me find a place to live. (I could not go back to my hometown God called me out of there that was clear.) I had to put my trust in the Lord. That was hard. I was used to running my life. Not letting God run my life. In the weeks to come, I tried to find a place to live. During those 30 days, where I wanted to live there was always some problem. God wanted me where he could work on me.
 He knew where I needed to be but I kept rejecting, where the Lord wanted me to go. (There was this place way out in the county that the VA. kept telling me about. The thing of it is that it was two miles to the nearest store and 11 miles to the mall and in between was cornfields that were not for me not at all.) So I tried to get a place to live in the city, apartment after apartment no one would take my money. I could not get a place in the crack house with money in my hand! God had a plan for my life, and I had no choice but to follow it or live in the streets. The last day, last hour, I had no place to go, but out to the vet center. This place is so far out that it's named after a road, 268-vet center in Cowansville Pa. On the way out there I did not see any towns, only cornfields. I was saying to God that this is not the place for me. It's out in nowhere. God knew that this was the right place for me to be. No sooner than I got there the Lord started to deal with me. (I forgot to say that after I got out of Jail I was ordained a Reverend and preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My faith in God is what brought me through and what is keeping me going. To this day things have not been easy in this Christian walk, but faith in Jesus has made things much easier. For God will not give you more than you can bear, and will make a way out. ) 
  I was able to forgive people of past wrongs, Abel to ask for forgiveness for the sins that I committed against God and my fellow man. Being capable to forgive. I found is very important to Christ, he forgave those who lied on him and those who crucified him on the cross. He (Jesus Christ) say's that we must forgive others that our heavenly father will forgive us. God has forgiven us of our sins, because of what Jesus did on the cross. (The innocent for the guilty that is Jesus and us.) It took time praying and asking God to take the pain away, but once I let go and refused to let the enemy come and remind me of the past I was healed. God is good to his word if we will obey him.
 The vet center was the best place for me! For now.
I had to put my full trust in Jesus and ask him to lead me, but first I had to surrender my free will. This is hard; I am still fighting with this, my free will. In order for God to work with you, and in you, we must deny self and put on Jesus. I fight with this each and every second of my life; John wants to do the things John's way, but if I am a disciple of Jesus I must walk in the footsteps of Jesus. This means that I must follow the teaching of Jesus even though I might not like it. It's hard to love someone that just lied on you or that you just don't, get along with. It's hard. Some people we just can't get along with but Jesus says that we must. We choose to love others, even the ones that don't love us. We are to still be kind to them. Grace, Mercy, Peace, this is my motto. Today I choose to love and forgive others.
 I stayed at the vet center ten months, learning what God had to tell me and to apply it to my life. I felt that God was calling me to leave the center so I started looking for a place to live. As usual I tried to find a place where I would like to live, but God was not having it. He wanted me in a certain place. So I moved to a town called Butler P.A.Ten months with out any drugs or alcohol. I was on top of the world. The first time in my life I was free of any chemicals and not be in Jail. This was a first for me. I found an apartment in Butler without any problems. Started making new Christian friends. There is a lot of drugs in that town but I would not be around them by myself .I would always have a brother in Christ with me when I went to witness to others. Since I am ordained I stared two bible studies at nursing homes and the other at homes in Butler I also went back to the vet center every Wednesday for a Bible study with the vets that I spent ten months with. I started to go to a church in Butler, visiting the hospitals and witnessing to people on the streets; God is truly blessing me. 
After a year of this I started to be lonely for female companionship, I would not keep company with any of the woman that I was witnessing to. In the church that I was in, There was a lady that I was actuated to I started talking to her we be came friends starred seeing each outer on a regulator bases, six months leather we were married. She is a Christian. God was in this marriage I was happier than I have ever been in my life. I prayed for a wife and God provided one. (But that is not the end of the story. The Lord still had thing to work with me on, that I did not know of. Six years in the Marine Corps and life on the street made me very violent. (This is very hard for me to admit.) I think in my case that the lord removed the most important things first. This was the first real relationship that I was in, I had girl friends before this but I was not as close to them like I was my wife. The anger did not show up with them. I moved in with her. She had been married twice before we both brought old baggage into the marriage. God brought us to gather for a purpose). Marriage is not to make us happy it is to honor God. I never hit her but I did push her around and throw things. At this point I was not honoring God or my self. Sin had come into my marriage. (I had never been married before and, I wanted this to work.) We separated, I and went back to the vet center.

This is where I'm writing the second part of my testimony. Through all this Jesus has been with me, in his word he says he will never leave me or forsake me.  I have not taken a drink or drugs. It has been three years. It crossed my mind on a number of occasions, but the Holy Spirit is stronger than the devil. I have asked my wife for forgiveness, and repented of my sins .I'm going to counseling for the anger. I have not told her about this. If God is in this marriage we will come back together. The last I heard she was talking divorce. My faith in Jesus Christ has not failed; it has become even stronger. In Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus tell us not to worry about things of this world, that our heavenly father knows the things we need and will supply them. In all this I try to keep my focus on Jesus, He says seek ye first the kingdom of God 
And his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.
 I try not to worry about my life today but put it in God hands. He knows what is best for me. Every time I try to run things I make a mess of it. Faith and trust in God is all I have. Without Jesus I'm nothing. I cry out to God day and night. Romans 8:28 says and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. God has much more work to do in my life. I cannot do anything. Jesus must do the work in me. I must let him ring in and over my life. This is so hard for me, but I must.
 The stakes are too high eternal life or eternal hell. . I choose life with God in heaven. I try to tell everyone that I meet about the Grace, Mercy, and Peace, of God the Father and our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.  I will update my testimony this is an on going testament of God's Grace.
I'm writing this not as a part of the testimony, but as things happen day by day and of thought as they pass. A good thing happened to me, my van broke down, I had to have it towed to an auto shop that means that I will not have any transportation to leave the vet center, where I must stay on the grounds and find ways to fill my time. This is one of them, writing. (I might not do it well, but I 'am doing it.) And reading my Bible. I say this is a good thing because it gives me time to do things that I would not ordinarily do. I started to write my prayers in the computer. I have time on my hands and try to fill it with the things of God. . I have also started a weight loss program. To date I have lost five pounds. I'm starting to feel better. If we look we can find good in things that we think are bad. God has a purpose in all things. I think about my marriage wording if there will be a future we are still separated. I have not heard from her. I wrote her three letters and not heard back. I do not want to keep writing. I don't want her to think that I'm bugging her; I really don't know if I want to go back. A lot of things happened on her part that hurt me deeply. My trust was betrayed, but I'm sure that God will heal me I ask day and night for a healing, it's hard to keep my focus here.  There are so many distractions TV. Is the biggest one, there is so much junk on the tube. Once I'll get the van back, then I will start looking for places to fellowship in this area. Or should I say meet people that are Christians. Could have the van out of the shop in a week. I don't know if I won't to get it out so soon, I can use the time reading and praying and writing. Time is valuable I'm fifty years old there is not a lot of time left for me, there are things I would like to do before I go to heaven. One is a home for children that are disarranged. Time is running out for me. I need a faunal blessing from the Lord, if I'm going to fulfil that dream all that I have been through what God Given me. I have been praying for the things that are needed .I have no doubt that God will supply my needs. I trust in the words of our lord Jesus. Today is Sunday I would have gone to Cliffside apartments to preach the word of God; Cliffside is a senior's apartment building. Were I preach each Sunday morning. I pray that I can make it next Sunday. A good friend of mine John is in the hospital. He had a triple heart bypass, I'm praying for him and his family. One of the men that live here at 268 Vet center died this week. He was like most of us, little or no family. He had only one sister no kids or any other family; there was a memorial here for him. I preached the memorial this afternoon there was a good turn out. His sister was there. I went to Pittsburgh to visit John, he looked a lot better I think he recognized me. He was on a breathing machine, seeing John in the hospital and Larry's memorial service. Made me think how much I miss being loved and having some one to love back. God please send someone that you choose for me, that I can love and will love me the same way.  I feel the loneliness more today day than ever. This makes me act impulsively. But today I did not go riding around like I would ordinarily do. I am just staying in my room; I have not read anything today, after I came back and just layed around, thinking about my life and how I have made a mess of it. I feel that there is no one out there that cares about me. If I would die today there would be any tears, who would come to my funeral, or would there even be a funeral? Life is lonely without some one to love. I must stop feeling sorry for myself and think about how I can change things in my life. I am trying to change, but it's hard for me to meet people or to let them close to me.  Stop whining. God is good, even to a sinner like me.
We had a Bible study on Saturday night here, were about six people that attended. We talked about God s purpose for us here on earth. The guy's enjoyed it so much that we had another, on Sunday night. Now the guys want to have Bible study every night of the week at six o'clock. Thank you Jesus for the interest in your word. Every day God shows me that he is with me but I don't understand why I am not prospering. There is something that I am doing wrong, tonight I will pray about it. I would like to buy a house and bring some of the veterans who live there maybe God will bless this dream. Also perched at Cliffside apartment this morning the topic was, The Second Coming of Jesus Christ, there were only three people at the service. Sometime I don't know if I am doing Gods will or not but the main thing I think is that I am trying to do what I think God wont's me to do. Sometimes we are being blessed and can't see it like me. I need God to bless me financially to do the things; I think he would like me to do for his kingdom,
I will be leaving the vet center after four months moving to the town of Kittanning Pa. Which is not too far from the vet center and about forty miles out side of PGH? PA. I feel that the Lord is calling me to this town. I met a man there who is a pastor of one of the Churches in town. He also owns some property in town one is an apartment building, which I will be leasing in the future if it is God's will. I will be moving into one of the apartments I hope to get a few more men that are recovering from drugs or alcohol to move with me, hope to have Bible study and NA, AA meetings in the apartment. I also will be starting a bible study at a personal care home in a town called Worthington, which is just out side of Kittanning PA. I have some fear not about moving, more about if I am doing God's will, and if I am up to the challenge of handling these men of the world. Can I lead them to the lord moreover? Can I resist the evil one that will attack me with the temptation of drugs and alcohol, women and other things that will come along? In the process of having them around me I will be living in the same apartment with them; until I can get every thing established. I. Have been praying to God that he be in this I am so afraid of felling again but I fell that I have to do this, I will step out in faith and trust in God that this is what he wants because I sure don't want to do this. I have already put a deposit on the apartment. God I pray that I be in your will and that your hand is guiding me for I need you father God.  I have been in the apartment for one month. The lord has blessed me where I thought I needed money; He showed me that with the money that I have he can stretch it. I have done more with $300, than I ever thought. I was able to get three rooms of furniture buy food, get the phone on, cable TV, rent a parking space and that is not all. Glory to His name! The lord is truly watching over me I could not have done this on my own. I have been lead to start two Bible studies at personal care homes in Kittanning I am still at Cliffside on Sunday morning. He showed me the need for a food program, It is ran right out of my apartment, I give out about eight meals a week and it is growing There's enough for me and my son and to give to outers. I did not say my son 13 years old is moving in with me from Beaver County. He has been coming to stay with me on the weekends, He likes it hear and can't wait to come here and live, this will be good for him a different environment for him than the one he came from.
The lord has put people in my life that needs to know of this love and grace. I stepped out in faith and I have been reward for it. Not money wise but the good feeling of knowing that that you are helping people and doing what God, would like for us to do. God is just and good to his word if only we trust him. We must follow him blindly like little children and stand on his word; I pray that I will always be in his will. (Lord keeps me your servant in your will and watches over me for I am a child and a sinner and need a savior Christ Jesus.) The landlord is a pastor at a Baptist Church; I have been to the church twice and brought some people from the personal care homes there. I need to find a Church home and a pastor to be under. No Christian is a lone gun. We belong to the body of Christ and we work together we are one body and Christ is the head.  It's the 5th of the month and I have $28 .00 to last me the rest of the month. All the bills are paid there is food in the refrigerator. I'm trusting God for gas for the van, and other things for the rest of the month. The lord has brought me throw much worse things. This is the first time I'm writing it down, as a testimony of God 's work in my life, and he can be a testimony in yours I if only you trust in him, as a little child trust his parents so we must trust in the Lord. This does not mean when I get money from whiter source, I can spend it foolishly, but I must be a good steward of how ever much the lord supplies me with. This Thursday I will be showing the passion of the Christ did not have the money to buy the C.D. but I walk in faith. We will have coffee and cake after the move and take about it .I only have $12.00 in my wallet and $5:00 most go on gas for the van. The $12.00 was spent on thirdly night. I have not paid the light bill yet, so I will use it for the rest of month it's only $32.00. Quay is costing more money; I have started him in Karate.  We bought are doing each other good. We have plenty of food to last for this month. But cash is another thing. I know that the lord is watching over me. God is working things out as I write this. I Have not written in this testimony for about six months so let me up date. I made it through with the money that I had God provide for me and my son The money seemed to just last it was spent wisely, I said that the land lord was the pastor of a church I started go to that church, I humbled myself there. I mean to say that I went in willing to start at the bottom. Asking for nothing but trusting God for everything if God was guiding me I needed to let him break the ice I know that God is in my life I can feel his hand on me. Going into this church, I did not know how the people would take me an all white church and me black, I have been in white churches before but none like this, I could tell that a black man had never been in that church or some of these people had never been around a black man, I know that one had never spoke in there church or been a member. But if God were in that church I would be as aped for whom I was not the color of my skin. (I can't remember is this the first time that I have matched my color? You see I don't think about me being black, I am human and I would like for people not to look at me as a black man but human). I can't remember if I said that I formed a non-profit Corporation called Trinity Word and Worship Center and church inc. were formed before I came to Kittanning. Well anyway I started going to this Church (Montgomeryville Baptist Church in Adrian PA.)  These are God filled people I felt welcome form the first time that I walk though the door. What really surprised me was these people were older I mean in there 60es and up But the Holy Spirit is in these people and the color of my skin seemed not to matter. When God in a people he is what count not world or world standers Jesus is the glue that binds us all together there is no color with God he looks on all of us as his people he is the creator of all the light skin and the dark and God looks at the heart not at the skin and we his children should not look at skin tone; but whether a person is in Christ. The body of Christ is not about color it's about Jesus and what he did for all of us on the cross. A lot has happen in the last six months I am still going to the same church the food ministry is running well the ministry that I running in town (Trinity word and Worship Center and Church Inc.) that is the name of my ministry is growing we load up my min van go out to Adrian to church, and we have church in town at my apartment some Sundays the members out at the church has help in the food ministry that provide the can goods and pasta for the meals sometimes they give money to help with gas and food but most of the funds come from my V.A. check I don't mind the Lord Jesus pays my back more than I give not so much in money but other ways, money is not that importation, there is more importation things in life than money like the smile on some one face when you bring them a bag of food.  Or to be a friend to some one that alone something money cannot buy. I provide the meat and do the cooking at my apartment. we only pass out mails four times a month, the last two weeks of the month there is a couple that helps Carl and his wife Bill-Joe there are other people that have come on board with Trinity a family out side of town that adopts children. Montgomeryville Baptist Church has made trinity and outreach ministry, they are an older church with older members I don't mind helping them to bring new members in the church, all this is done for the glory of God.           

Your Brother in Christ


This is my testimony:

The Lord has brought me through so many things. When I think of what
he has done, and where he has brought me from, I have so much to
THANK him for! When I was 19 years old and newly married, I was
diagnosed with an inflammatory bowel disease, called Crohns. My
husband left after five years. I was unable to work anymore. He told
me that he could not deal with my illness and not help him pay the
bills. He didn't want to come to any of my hospital stays and visit
me. We had a baby girl when I was 22. That is a whole other
testimony of its own. She was a miracle baby. I was very ill during
that time and was on powerful medication. They told me that she may
be deformed at birth, because I wasn't aware for a while that I was
with child while taking strong doses of medication. She turned out
fine!!!  My husband began to drink and cheat on me. I went through
many years suffering. I felt  so alone. There I was sick now and
trying to raise a child now by myself.  I had to go on food stamps
and disability.  My ex-husband was nowhere to be found. I had drawn
back from the Lord soon after that for a while.  I pushed my Lord
away little by little. You would think that I would really "depend,"
on him, and walk with Christ through this battle I was going
through. I stopped going to church. I just couldn't understand why I
had to suffer so badly. My intestines were always inflamed. I went
through yet another divorce during all this too. I stayed stressed
out almost every day. I ran a fever because of the disease almost
every day. My life was a mess!  I continued to stay in my misery for
many years.  I couldn't seem to find any peace. I looked through
others. I felt more alone than I ever felt in my life. I seemed to
have forgotten and pushed away all I shared with my Lord in my
younger years. Things always got worse. I didn't have any "real"
friends at the time.  I did not have a Christian friend to talk to.  
I asked God when I was so weak in my faith to send me a friend.  
Every time that I turned around someone was hurting me; sometimes physically and sometimes mentally.  I was literally going out of my
mind it seemed.  One day, out of despair, I had thoughts of just
ending it all!  I was at an all time low. I fell on my knees out of
despair and called back on God after so many years. I loved God as a
young girl and walked with him.  I accepted "CHRIST" and was born 
again at the age 12.  I loved and served God, even as a young girl.  
I worked in my church. I went to the rest home, sang on the Radio,
and TV. Anything I could find to do!  I ate and breathed Christ. I
had a song in my heart.  I did this because of the Joy he gave me
when he saved my soul.  I know this is hard for some of you to
understand.  "If she loved Christ, why did she walk away from such a
wonderful life?"  Well, it is very simple.  I allowed Satan to take
control of my life.  I stopped reading my Bible.  I stopped going to
Church.  It didn't happen overnight, but little by little I stopped
worshipping my Lord.  The cares of this life took complete and full
control of my life.  I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do
it! I began to sin and couldn't seem too stop.  I drifted far away
from God, and all his ways.  I became very bitter toward God at
times.  I had wished I was never born.  

I had a wonderful divine miracle, when I was 13.  I saw a vision.  I
was kneeling at church, and praying, and worshiping him!   There
appeared before me the most glorious thing!   I saw a vision of
Jesus!   I never saw the future or anything like that.  I saw
wonderful, loving being appear before me!  I was in the presence of
something very wonderful!  He had piercing eyes. They seem to look
right through me!! As if he knew all about me... He had the most
wonderful glow of "LOVE" on his face.  Then something happened.  He
had tears in his eyes.  I began to reach for him after that!!!  He
stretched out his arms and opened very, very, wide....and the Lord
was standing besides a beautiful entering of a gate.  That was a
miracle to be alive and AWAKE and see something like this!!!  
Well, the vision probably didn't last more than 10 seconds, and then he
was gone.  I remember also seeing him wanting to show me his scars
in his hands and feet.  He had on a long beautiful garment of white
clothing. It was snow white.  I remember thinking maybe Jesus might
have been sad about something, because of the tears in his eyes.  
Well, I went home after church and could not wait to tell my Mama
what had happened to me at church that night.  I didn't get home
until 1:00 in the morning.  We were in revival.  I was crying and
laughing at the same time!   She didn't know what I was so excited
about.  I could hardly sleep, I was so excited.  I kept playing the
vision over and over in my mind.  I could not figure out why Jesus
allowed me to let me see such an amazing thing . I felt so happy.  

Approximately 6 years went by when I was diagnosed with Crohns
Disease.  I was so overwhelmed and drained all the time.  Hospitals stay after hospital stay. Pain and misery seemed like everyday I was
suffering.  I remembered back to the vision I had as a young girl
through all the difficult times. I finally accepted the disease
after 10 years.  The doctors were telling me there was no cure. They
told me they could only treat it, and that was all they could do for
me.  As I told you earlier as time went on things got worse for me.  
I had six surgeries in all. The first surgery I had, they took out
all of my large intestine.  Then later on it spread into my small
intestines.  They took the bits and pieces out of my intestines
for a while. I became angry with God.  I blamed him for many years.  
If he loved me, I thought to myself "why did he let this happen to
me"?   One day God revealed many things to me in the spirit. He
touched my heart and comforted me.  I think he knew my faith would
get very weak, so he knew my future and gave that glorious vision to
a young girl.  I finally started to believe, or come to a place
faith" in him, that he was not going to leave me, no matter what I
went through in this life. I called on God many times throughout my
life, but I never had enough faith to really believe in my heart.  
He  would take care of me until the end.  I had a terrible fear of
dying and leaving my child behind.  I had a few panic attacks during
this time also. I was so afraid. I didn't know any Christian people
who would take the time to talk to me.  I was too depressed to go
out. I remember asking God to please send me some friends.  Then
one day I reached out in despair for my Bible.  I opened it up to
the book of Psalms chapter 142 and chapter 143. WOW, THIS STUFF
STARTED TO MAKE SENSE TO ME!!!!  Please everyone read these two
chapters. My "faith" in him grew stronger everyday.  He brought me
back to my first love it was Jesus Christ all the time.  

I am a living breathing testimony that you can live by faith and not
by sight.  It has been almost 6 years now since my last surgery. I
have good days and bad days.  I can tell you right now, I would not
ever want to do anything without Christ in my life ever again!  I am
not saying that I will never get sick again or ever die.  For we
know it is appointed to man once to die and then the judgment
comes.  One day I want my Lord to say "well done, thou good and
faithful servant, enter in".  I will always know that no matter
what, he will never ever leave my side.  We may leave him, but he
will never ever leave his children.  He is the Good Shepherd and we
are his lambs.  We will fall in a ditch without him.  Lambs are very
stupid.  His word is full of life!!! Please read his word everyday.
He will guide us if we will only follow him.  He died for us on a
cross.  He was slaughtered as a little lamb for our atonement.  He
took our place on the Cross so that we may have everlasting life and
reconcile us back to God!  The curse of man is death.  Jesus made a
way.  He gave his life freely.  This is his gift to us that we may
have life and life more abundantly. I knew as a child when God gave
me this VISION that someday he wanted me to share it with the
world.  He revealed that to me in the spirit. I know this is what he
wants.  I never heard of the Internet back in those days.  So I know
this is God's will. This is my calling, to be his witness.  I am 37
years old now!!!

I Love each and every one of you and may God bless you.

Send in by Nannrz 

I live in a Christian family so I have been brought up in church. I even go to a Christian school. When I was five, thinking about things like a five-year-old does, I suddenly thought about one of the Sunday school lessons I had had. I realized I needed Christ. So I asked my mom and she told me how to be saved. I just prayed a simple prayer. Something like," Dear Lord, will you come into my heart?" And He did! I was so overjoyed. I started singing in church and just telling everyone about Jesus. It didn't stay like that. Now I struggle to talk to Him every day. I am getting better though, with the help of some friends. What would we do without friends? They help us in difficult times. And my number one friend is... Jesus Christ! Talking to him is just something I can't describe. Every time I ask for help He is right there with me even if I just need someone to talk to. By the grace of God I am here telling people what I know and truly believe. I love God with all my heart. He is my Father, my Protector, my Helper, and my Comforter and most importantly, He is my friend that sticks closer than a brother.
Thank you for asking for my testimony. I pray people would see this and be inspired.

A true friend knows when to ask the right questions.

Send in by Mar:

You know its amazing how God works in our lives. I am made more aware of that everyday. God does so many wonderful things in my life from moment to moment. My story isn't that dynamic, what's dynamic is God saved me, so here's my story!
As a kid I was raised in a Christian home, was taught right and wrong, I was the child that always did the right thing, I can't say that I remember every saying "I accept You Lord Jesus" but I do know I did, for He is with me each step of the way. A little on my background which is part of my testimony, I have been through a lot in my time, but God is always faithful, He's done so much for me, first of all, when I was 6 years old, and my sister was 2 , she was supposed to be standing with me behind my grandparents and (we were putting up a light pole for my grandparents) she went out towards my mom, and the pole went out of control and fell on her, she died 3 hours later, of course I wasn't at that point directly affected by this, but later on in life, during my teen years, that's when I really missed her, than in 1993 my family moved to Hartwell, GA ,from VA Beach, VA, I hated it but went (I had no choice) than in 1996 I was 20 and my sister was 13,she was taking a horse for a dip in the pond and fell off and drowned, was revived, but she remained in a coma, for a week she remained that way, her heart kept stopping, and they would restart it, so finally the decision had to be made do we want to keep restarting her heart? So my parents decided no, cuss she was basically brain dead, and why make her suffer anymore, so she died 6 days after the accident, when her heart stopped again, through both of these accidents God has seen me through it all, sometimes in life we think we cant take anymore, but God knows how much more we can handle ,cuss he wasn't finished with my family at that point, in 2000,my dad was on his way to work, and a lady with a dui passed a feed truck on a curve, and hit him head on, he traumatized his pancreas, he ended up being taken to Atlanta (Emory) and was in there off and on for many times for 2 years, I can say I had to step up and become a parent, to take care of my brother and sister, plus work and keep house, but God is good, and he gave me back my dad, which I thank him for every day, life goes on, I leave home in 2003 and move to Northern VA, I've had many adventures while living here, but God has helped me grow thru each one. I can say he has helped me through each and every one of them; one of the most current ones was leaving my heritage behind that I was raised in....but that's a story all in itself.  I can honestly say I'm thankful I was raised how I was...God is so good!
God bless! Mar
Send in by HolyWhispers:

Healing Testimony:
This is one thing that God did for me: He healed me of severe allergies in the 1970's.
The Word of God, KJV, Old Testament:
Isaiah 53:5 (KJV)  
    But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 
The Word of God, KJV, New Testament:
1 Peter 2:24 (KJV)  
    Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were
So, since the Word of God says that I was healed, I began to confess that "By His Stripes I was healed!" I did this every Sunday night testimony service in Faith Tabernacle Church, Redding, California.  Then the next Monday afternoon I would have to go to the doctors office and get an allergy shot.  This went on for about two years.  It took that long for my body to line up with my confession of the Word of God.
I have not had an allergy shot since September, 1976!
Another point.  There is a good reason why I like the KJV.  Look how the Living Bible and the New Living Bible change things:
Isaiah 53:5 (NLT)  
    But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! 
1 Peter 2:24 (NLT)  
    He personally carried away our sins in his own body on the cross so we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. You have been healed by his wounds! 
The point is this: I have talked to a medical doctor, a psychiatrist, and he said that ALL of mankind's physical and emotional problems can be classified in to 39 categories.  Jesus Christ was whipped to the legal Jewish limit of 39 lashes!  That means that He has already healed every adverse condition for everyone who will appropriate it!
John Strode

My Story, Superragman, witness for Jesus:
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 
I am known online as superragman. Where did this name come from? It came to me in dreams I had in childhood. I didn't know what they meant, but years later this name was used to serve God on the Internet chats. 
I witness for Jesus, bringing others to his saving grace. So many I talk with have had bad parents. I had good folks, a poor family, with two brothers. I had a simple upbringing, a boy with his companion dog roaming the acres of open land, barefoot and happy. 
Even in a sheltered life trouble may come. At the age of nineteen, I was found to have cancer. It was during this time that I found God by calling on the name of Jesus. 
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. 
Modern medicine did all they could do, but at the age of twenty, I was sent home, a skeleton from all that was done attempting to stop the cancer. It was in the months that followed that God reached down and healed me. I was healed by God and filled with the spirit witnessing to everyone of God's love. I married the girl who went through all this with me, I loved her more then God, a mistake, she went into the world, I was left apart from God and empty. 
Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment. 
Having graduated from college, my heart was empty and alienated from God. Even after college I felt I was in bondage, unable to find meaning in my life. I found my wife with a small boy that was now my responsibility, life was starting to have meaning. Later, seeking to begin a business I knew I could not succeed without God in my life. Our family began searching and we found a church that taught God's word as truth, no compromise. After this came our daughter who was dedicated in the church to the Lord. At the age of four I led her to the Lord. 
I rededicated my life and began to study God's word. Soon I was asked to teach. I will never outgrow the word of God. I love the Lord, truth and his love now guide me daily by His Holy Spirit. 
2 Tim 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 
My wife, son and daughter each earned the Timothy award, having memorized hundreds of verses in the AWANA program at church. Awana stands for: Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed. 
The Lord brought me a computer, from my son. Immediately I began witnessing in the Internet chats. It was over a year later that I reached someone who needed Jesus. This changed her life and mine. I saw the difference that Jesus had made in her life. I saw her delivered and conformed into the image of Jesus. Jesus still reaches people, even through the internet! 
My work became the work of Jesus, as he was described by the prophet Isaiah 700 years before Jesus came to save his people. 
Isa 61:1 The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 
It is not my doing, but the power of God through his word that takes broken people and connects them to the living vine, Jesus. As the picture, we become connected to God through Jesus. We sing a new song of praise and Joy. 
Isa 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. 
To see the work of Christ, visit the web pages of Rochelle and Randy. 

In his love, 
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